Friday, July 10, 2015

Because #ILTAM

I thought of this hash tag - so that I don't have to explain it every time I talk about myself. This hash tag = I Love Talking About Myself.
Its raining crazy over here but obviously can't hear anything since everything is shut and all. But lightning is lighting everything up and I don't want to sleep.
Right now, I don't know why I have this sudden urge to show someone my mind - say to them - welcome to my mind and this is how that crazy shit works.
But I know myself well enough to know that it will take some time before something like that happens.
I felt guilty about making my blog so personal in between but then, I Googled what a blog is and it is supposed to be a kind of a journal. So!
I have horrible cough and cold and spells of headache in between and a very sore throat. My friend potentially has chickenpox! Thankfully the honours papers are done with and only the general papers are left or else she would have had to repeat a year.
Sometimes (lol, many times actually, who am I kidding?) I think about life. I think it should be like a blank white canvas you know? And then you just fill it. Those of us who have been to a drawing class, the very basic art courses will know that these somehow limit you. As in you are shown how to colour grass and what the perfect scenery should look like. But this canvas is without rules. Oh, just imagine the pleasure! Dipping your hands in those paints and running them along the huge canvas. Anywhere, free to roam. Just you and them colours. Sometimes you'll be blue, or you'll be green or you'll be yellow or you'll be red and sometimes black. Sometimes you'll be your favourite colour - you'll be stuck with for quite some time. Sometimes you will get stubborn and want to make it look like something you pictured but you end up disappointed or sometimes you want to remove that stupid blob that fell where it shouldn't have but it won't go away. But it won't make a difference. You know why? Because those ugly spots will fit into the scheme. Make perfect sense in the big picture. In the end its you again. Just you and all those emotions and colours and feelings. You and the wonderful scheme of things that came together.
You smiling at your masterpiece.

That is how I should end this post but of course I thought more. I realized why we fear death so. We want to finish that piece - to feel, to experience and to go places! Or we are afraid that currently we are so stuck that we aren't contributing to our own creation. I guess the only way out, is to add a little bit of colour everyday so that even if *God forbid * it ends up a little blank, you are going right where you want to be.

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