Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Sucky Internet + Typing in the Heat + Just spied a lizard hiding very sneakily.

So I am waiting here for my song to get downloaded but it won't because sucky internet.
The lizard just came out but I still can't see it clearly. Its like those nude shots in movies where you can't really see the whole body because of strategically placed objects - in this case, the lizard is choosing to reveal just its tail to me. Hah.

As for the heat! The sockets in the AC room where I am supposed to sleep are burning the charging pins of my charger. They've become all black and so I had to shift to the non-AC dining room and I am supposed to be studying for a bit, maybe?

Umm, I don't know why I am writing why I am about to write but I guess its for the good. Maybe?
Let's start with day before. So, there was this party and I didn't say a hi back (but it was only because I was unsure whether the wave was for me or not). And then there was the whole party with people I didn't know well and so I didn't speak at all for the evening. Normal people would let go of these things because those guys aren't people I chill with everyday, anyway. But all of this didn't leave my mind. Yes, I didn't think about the drive after which was wonderful or anything else that was good but about every smile, every judgement, and of course that hi. Very unnecessarily, I know.

That was yesterday. Today was a whole new story. It was like I wanted to say a lot - like I was up to the brim with things but there was no exit. Like accumulated stuff but things you don't say to everyone. It is a very uncomfortable sort of feeling. All trapped things. It kind of made me want to vomit (oh, this could have been the food :P). But ya. Like a good breaking of things or a good shouting or something would make it okay. I just wanted to talk, you know, but if I would talk, nothing would seem okay to talk about. It is a weird in-between but I tried anyway. But.. just anyway, sometimes its not worth bothering anyone. How do you even start a conversation with - Hey I want to talk but not really talk. Doesn't make sense. Plus I do get the fact that people have work stuff and their own lives to deal with..

I honestly don't know what I want. Maybe its a side-effect of too much vacation. Maybe I am not supposed to pay attention to all this crap. Maybe I am making it seem like it is more than it is. Maybe that's why I start making meaningless conversation!

Who knows? :D
Oh this exercise is probably a waste of everyone's time but just wanted to let you know. Idkkkkkk. It will come and go like all things do.
Ohhho bye.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Random Update #88744

Hmmm. Summer is killing me a little bit. More than that I am feeling fat and lazy and passive aggressive. Is it.. *gasp*.. too much vacation?

I think I am not made for social media. I jog my memory back to last 3 attempts at PDA and they all seem so stupid.

Life sucks. No I mean all I feel like doing right now is eating the delicious things in my fridge and watch my stomach grow and yawn and that sucks. I can feel my focus leaving my body.. dripping away so fast like idk.

Okay wait. Will try to talk some sense. What did I learn from the newspaper? Battery low = typing fast. US wants to be friends with India, at least for defence purposes. Signed some treaty for logistics co-operation = faster transfer of fuels and materials. Something else that could be abbreviated as DTTT = strategic defense cooperation against enemy attacks + better attack plans as well. Some of it comes as a response to China's growing power (case in point - it tabooing the branding of Jaish-e-Mohammed chief as a terrorist by the UN). Well, this is all I have retained.
Plus, a sad tale of a Kashmiri dad who was tortured so badly for his 'militant' son's whereabouts and then told he was dead and turned out he was in an asylum in Pune. Upsetting news!

Other people your age finding direction in life is a tad bit scary. Very scary. Its all about woohoo-got-into-dream college/course shit now. Why isn't everyone lazy like me? Directionless would help too!? I don't know what I am saying. Congratulations to them! :)
But scary, nonetheless. Wasting time is much more convenient.
I did order some study material and I pray to God it helps.

Also, the HEAT. It burns into your skin even at 8 in the evening. The heat-wave kind of heat. Will I ever do anything? My house doesn't have enough space for my things. Can't unpack which is good because my room doesn't have an air conditioner.

Okay, critically low battery.


My College Life :)

My college life in a sentence -

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything's different?

This phase was good and comfortable and I have no clue what the next phase brings. This will always be there but its already time for something new? This picture is such a fun picture and all that time we were laughing like crazy. Such is life, my brothers, such is life!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016


I got my surprise birthday party todaaayy. Yay. :D
Love pretty cakes :)

Anyway, urgent opinion about.. Like I want to write something nice but on like completely plain paper. So is it still okay? If you write good things on bad (by that I mean plain) paper? Choosing coloured papers is a task. Choosing good pens to go with them an even bigger one. White paper is crisp and nice.

I am phone-less by the way. Lololol.

And what else?
Oh ya, so I was catching up on Game of Thrones from Season 3 where I'd left off. So this particular twist seems so not-nice. I had to Wiki whether the prisoner goes free or not. And the things that happened to him made me want to vomit. Too, too cruel. What are we watching in the name of entertainment, again? I mean sure I am a part of it. But its really cruel. He loses his identity completely. I don't want to think about it.

And my new decisions.. Not going so well. Am I not like cut out for what I want to do? Or worse, do I not want to actually do it? Huh. Confusion, confusion.

Let's sleep. Early morning outing tomorrow. :D

Less Facebooking = more time = more in life.

Good Nightt. 

Monday, April 18, 2016

In Love With Being Young

Not really feeling fantastic at the moment but the truth is, and I have been thinking about it a lot, I am in love with being young.

It is when you stop being so stupid all the time. I mean, sure, there are worries. Most are small and petty and those worries that are big all seem necessary to me. Like it is an inherent part of being a human being. All those weird existential questions? Sure they start now but they last a lifetime.
Somehow, because I have being going out so much now, I have now connected being young as enjoying the wind in your hair while you're with your friends, listening to your kind of music, discussing the world without a whole burden of worries. Growing up = worrying for a million people.
Youth is the best stage - when you're still able and its easier to be naive and to choose among a lot of options and you have millions of things to solve your unrest with. The best intermediate.

Anyway, finished The Lizzie Bennet Diaries yesterday. The last twenty or so episodes are so good! First I like how they've converted everything in modern day terms. And like, Lydia and Jane and even Lizzie get a different ending than the one which books give them. These new endings are cooler. But the thing I liked most was Lydia Bennet's point of view. And it is so true. Sometimes no one tries to get your perspective and it leads to a lot of troubles. I understand Lydia and sympathized with her - like what she did, why she did.

I am feeling a lot of unrest but I don't know.
Future seems like a lot of responsibility and a little help and guidance is all I asked. But oh well, I never got asked so apparently I shouldn't ask as well.
Such is life.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Dil Chahta Hai!

So I am very sleep deprived (2 hours sldep per night plus two hours sleep in afternoon for 4 days straight) = really short post but finished watching DCH an hour ago. An its good! Reminded me of my college days getting over and whether these things would continue to haunt me. Specially when Akshay Khanna says that people remain friends for life but life does take you in different directions. He is the most sorted character. Funnest is Aamir. I do wish I had the ability to go out on road trips just randomly though. Self driven ones.

Some things that stood out - the video clip of the Dil Chahta Hai title track. Those road trip to beautiful area feels. The Koi Kahe song!! Could kind of be an anthem for every generation. I had forgotten all the cute songs the movie had - Voh Ladki Hai Kahan and all.
Preity Zinta looks so fresh in all her Australian scenes. And then the end hug when you realize you've wasted so much time due to ego clashes. So silly we are.
But fact remains:
Jealousy inducing Bollywood camaraderie = road trips.

Just thought of Kuch Kuch Hota hai with the Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram. :D

Eyes closing. Bye.