Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Monday, June 27, 2016

She Diaries

She picked up the fresh sheet of paper. It was going to be so easy - some kind of pure dictation - but only from her mind.

I like to colour lives. It makes everyone seem happier and that gives me happiness. You taught me a new shade of colour. This shade worked the same way as all of those that were mine but it was deeper and richer and thus, more helpful.
You seem embarrassed about being so good sometimes.. not embarrassed maybe but guilty. I can't recognize it. Don't read so well yet. But I can see the result of it and it doesn't have to be that way. It is a uselessly big burden to carry. It should be seen as an achievement - to remain true when everything else is twisted. To not hurt anyone and remain on your own race track, no matter what. To inch slowly forward on your own terms. Maybe you have learnt to see it that way.
I talk about colors a lot and it seems like she is a bright lemon yellow to you. And that's a really good thing! I only hope they were brighter yellows before.
You run away from life sometimes. Maybe that is just a part of delusion. If its not, I sometimes understand where you're coming from. I would call it laughable but clearly it works.
You know how obsessed everyone is about being great and not forgotten? Being good and not forgotten seems like a more potent method to me now.
Maybe my shades are enough too. Someday I might know.

Oh, shit. She laughed at herself. Crushed the paper. No, it wasn't that easy.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

My Office!

So I was totally panicking and worried about my whole internship thing. And I have one advice for myself - give change time before evaluating! The bigger the change, longer the time. Because I didn't like it all that much the first day or the second but I can safely say today it's amazing. No, my works not amazing because I barely have any. But its fun to learn whatever I do learn. :D

Oh man. But they're shifting sir to the other office which suckssss. Sucks soooo muccchhhhhhhh. Basically he is the only one who teaches me things, is super experienced and more importantly super super super super super super funny. All of the office people could have been my friends. But now they're taking the fun away from the office. So here I make super fervent prayers that it doesn't happen. I just.. Our office already went two days without him and everybody was so relieved when he returned. Ughhhh. Oh come on. Someone do something. He can't go! 

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Coldplay. Good Decision, Always.

No, my Coldplay obsession is not over yet. Hopefully, it never ever will be.

It's always a good decision to listen to Coldplay. It makes a bad day good and a good day better. And it's not just about the music. The music obviously is great but they're so inspirational! Their videos are so inventive! It's full of emotion. Most of them focus on bringing good energy to people's lives (the videos!). And sometimes even if it doesn't really apply to your life, you can completely feel it and understand the emotions behind it. It's for the soul. It's relaxing. It's so soothing. It's about learning to make the world better for everyone else as well. It wouldn't even seem surprising to me if it gets too overwhelming and people cried (as I read in the video comments). It's about letting people know they aren't alone and they can make it.

It's..  Indescribable.
The things it does to you.
The joy it gives.
The feeling of being lost in it and not wanting to return.

I love you Coldplay. I hope I get to see you live one day. And I hope you know that you do much, much, much more than 'just' creating good music. That in itself is a big deal but you've always done more. :') 

Tuesday, June 14, 2016


I am left stunned and confused how these things can conceivably continue to happen in our world. 
- Adam Levine on the shooting of Christina Grimmie. 

It is really a year full of crappy news and we are not even halfway year there. It's pretty much senseless whatever has been happening. 

Monday, June 13, 2016


Have you ever seen an ant trying to escape water? Water surrounds that little ant from all sides and the ant keeps running in all directions trying to keep itself from drowning? That is exactly what panicking feels like. [Although I hope everyone tries and saves those ants from drowning! :O]

This title. Lol. Actually once when I was in a paying guest facility, we experienced a really major earthquake in the middle of the night. But it was over soon enough and we clambered back up and slept.. Because sleep and we would have to be up for college anyway in an hour or so. Then there were the other girls who didn't sleep at all. And apparently the next morning, they had splattered Instagram with posts like #MorningsLikeThese. Hahaha. 

Lesser of Two Evils?

What would you choose?
Never have a best friend or have a best friend for only a fixed amount of time after which you separate?

I saw two friends kind of bid bye today and it sucked. Sometimes we can't have it all. I hate goodbyes of all kinds and for all people. I know that distance doesn't change things always but..

It's just that it's such a relief to be around people you can really breathe. When you let the dam of your filters lose and then your thoughts flow like water and all that fog and haze that your minds been in starts to dissipate. Where there is no need to hold back. Oh, people!

Saturday, June 11, 2016

The People Diaries - 4! :D

Aanchal Arora.
"I strongly believe things get better".
Probably, that's how everyone thinks of her. That ball of positivity and helpfulness and goodness and kindness. Actually, scratch that. This girl has managed to link the word awesome to herself. So, that's what people think when they think of her. Haha.
But seriously. If there ever was a person working as hard for someone else as for herself, it was her. And that strong will to get things done. Possibly, that's what gets good people up and going when they are down (and then use what they've learnt when they were down to help others get back up).
Well, what can anyone say? Some people are just the whole package - of sympathy and smarts and sarcasm and studliness and cuteness. :P
This interview thing is a true reflection of what she stands for as a person. Well, except the fact that there is no mention of baby love!

Three words you'd use to describe yourself?
Friendly/Helpful, Straightforward, resilient.

What would you say are your strengths?
I haven't yet figured out my strengths and weaknesses. Everyone knows my weakness. People I love. Ask me what my favourite thing to do is.

Okay. What is your favourite thing to do?
That also you know. Reading, painting, cooking (including baking)  swimming, creative things, movies, music, games/board games, travelling, star grazing and Raj! ;)
I also plan to join a dance class soon!

You've pretty much listed every extra curricular activity there is!
Listening to music isn't. :P

When did you realize you were growing up?
After college. Major grown up feels.

What is love according to you?
When you can be who you are without being judged. Like how moms never judge you. They scold, they tell you you've done wrong. But at the end of the day, no matter how badly you behave, she'll know you didn't mean it.

What do you want your story to say?
Good at what I do, good person, happiness and satisfaction.

What's your biggest priority right now?
Right now - career.
Constant priority - people I love.

Is being good at what you do the most important thing to you? Like I notice how much you always stress it and attach importance to it..
Yes it is. Very.

What do you fear?
Having regrets. Not minor regrets but life regrets. And the usual - bankruptcy, needles, losing loved ones. I also fear losing the respect of people I respect and look up to. Or not even look up, someone I like as a person. It scares me.

The fact that regrets might happen even if you think you're going on the right path?
Nah, that doesn't worry me that much.

So, regrets how?
Not taking up a sport seriously maybe. And learning piano. And not studying for second year. Not studying maybe when I could have excelled with a little more effort. Don't regret that much about school though because I had a good time. Teachers were nice to me. Had nice friends. Did decently. Could've done better but that's fine. Regret being lazy about second year.

What is the one thing you wish people understood? Like it's obvious but no one can see it?
Sly people. I HATE sly people from the bottom of my heart and somehow people never see through! Happens to me all the time!

What inspires you?
Excellence, goodness. Goodness is sort of vague but you know how you want to become a better person when you see nice people. And knowledge.

How do you manage to stay positive? When everything seems wrong?
The fact that it'll get better. I strongly believe things get better.

What changes do you wish to see in the world?
Niceness! The ability to think for other people. Cleaner and greener world. Less, preferably, no poverty. Open minds. Less societal interference in personal lives.

Things you can't imagine life without?
Compassion. Having dreams. A happy and supportive family. The internet!

Things about you, you wish people knew?
I get misunderstood A LOT. Because I see everything in black and white. So every time I upset someone, I didn't mean it. I never mean to hurt or upset people. Unless of course, I dislike the person - in which case too, I don't try to upset the person. I just ignore the person.

What motivates you? What drives you to keep doing what you do? Just wake up and do things.
That people believe in me. That I can't waste my life. There are other things as well - like the consequences of being lazy. And that I don't want to be a nobody. Nobody does, but it's a thing for me.

This is Water

An extract from 'This is Water'.  While all this seemed pretty obvious up front, I found myself thinking about it a day or two later. It connects to my last post somewhat!

Because here's something else that's true. In the day-to-day trenches of 
adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing 
as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to 
worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of God or 
spiritual-type thing to worship — be it J.C. or Allah, be it Yahweh or the 
Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set 
of ethical principles — is that pretty much anything else you worship will 
eat you alive. If you worship money and things — if they are where you tap 
real meaning in life — then you will never have enough. Never feel you have 
enough. It's the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure 
and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will 
die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know 
this stuff already — it's been codified as myths, proverbs, clich├ęs, bromides, 
epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping 
the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power — you will feel 
weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the 
fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up 
feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on.
Look, the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're 
evil or sinful; it is that they are unconscious. They are default-settings. 
They're the kind of worship you just gradually slip into, day after day, 
getting more and more selective about what you see and how you measure 
value without ever being fully aware that that's what you're doing. And the 
world will not discourage you from operating on your default-settings, 
because the world of men and money and power hums along quite nicely on 
the fuel of fear and contempt and frustration and craving and the worship 
of self. Our own present culture has harnessed these forces in ways that 
have yielded extraordinary wealth and comfort and personal freedom. The 
freedom to be lords of our own tiny skull-sized kingdoms, alone at the 
center of all creation. This kind of freedom has much to recommend it. But 
of course there are all different kinds of freedom, and the kind that is most 
precious you will not hear much talked about in the great outside world of 
winning and achieving and displaying. The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and 
being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over 
and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. 
The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race” — the 
constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.

Boundaries and Heights.

You know it.
Just one more push. That bit of a little more effort.
But it still seems out of reach.

You think.
Ready to bend over backwards. Do anything really.
But feel no push.

Somehow its always a little too far
A little more of this. A little more of that.
Do this.
Eat that.
See all.
Yet you never cross the ribbon first.

It's a weird suspended feeling.
It's out there.
But its there.
And you're here.
And there is no bridge.
No connection. No fulfillment. No plans. 

Monday, June 6, 2016

Remembering nice quotes! :)

Never forget who you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you.

Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
What truth?
There is no spoon.
There is no spoon? 
Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Just when I thought I am out of things to say and that maybe its the end of my writing, I remember these. :P