Monday, June 27, 2016

She Diaries

She picked up the fresh sheet of paper. It was going to be so easy - some kind of pure dictation - but only from her mind.

I like to colour lives. It makes everyone seem happier and that gives me happiness. You taught me a new shade of colour. This shade worked the same way as all of those that were mine but it was deeper and richer and thus, more helpful.
You seem embarrassed about being so good sometimes.. not embarrassed maybe but guilty. I can't recognize it. Don't read so well yet. But I can see the result of it and it doesn't have to be that way. It is a uselessly big burden to carry. It should be seen as an achievement - to remain true when everything else is twisted. To not hurt anyone and remain on your own race track, no matter what. To inch slowly forward on your own terms. Maybe you have learnt to see it that way.
I talk about colors a lot and it seems like she is a bright lemon yellow to you. And that's a really good thing! I only hope they were brighter yellows before.
You run away from life sometimes. Maybe that is just a part of delusion. If its not, I sometimes understand where you're coming from. I would call it laughable but clearly it works.
You know how obsessed everyone is about being great and not forgotten? Being good and not forgotten seems like a more potent method to me now.
Maybe my shades are enough too. Someday I might know.

Oh, shit. She laughed at herself. Crushed the paper. No, it wasn't that easy.

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