Tuesday, August 30, 2016

It Doesn't Matter What You Are :D


Not exactly on point but! :)

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Let Me Describe What Now's Like.

Here I am in this community hall filled with around 50 odd fasting men/women, another 15 committee members and a bunch of children serving these fasting people. They are also accompanied in their serving by adults but I guess it works better to have cute faced children serving. Where do I come in all this? My family kind of forced me to come along to serve. And no, I am not hiding behind my phone but there are just way too many people serving and I give up. Hmm, so I guess I am the mannerless anti social element in here. So much wow.
Oh God how weird these things are! Old people standing around. Rich women in their shiny leggings. Other kinds of rich women who are trying to find their place back in the society. Other women taking after their mother in laws. Like learning tbe ropes thing. All the prostrating and forced on warmth. Children/long lost relatives you used to see more of when you were younger and participated more in community things - they've gotten older and some of them have started looking way past their age. Happy and well mannered young children who do not hesiatate talking to people. Annoucemnts regarding the money gifts being announced for all the devotees. Gifts crossed a hundred per person today. Jubilation over that. All the while everyone is subject to the judgement of everyone else. I think I already made my case against me by not bowing down to the many, many people gathered here. Or maybe I did not when I did not acknowledge my neighbour. I don't know. But in comparison the active enthusiasm participation of everybody else.. Their mannerisms have always given me discomfort from when I was little.
Wow. I don't think I am ever going to have a society. They're not bad people, most of them.. They're just spotlight-y people. No society doesn't bother me much but its a skill - to socialize so smoothly like they do.
PS - Just had a conversation with a relative and I have no clue what he asked. I answered what I thought was suitable. I think it wascompletely completely unrelated. Ugh. Never will be a smooth talker if I have to keep asking people to repeat. :P
My semi deafness doesn't help! Mortifying things. :|

Monday, August 15, 2016


I did some Independence Day celebrating by cleaning two shelves of my super amazing cupboard. Here's some things I found!
Piece of writing which I remember showing Meenal and her questioning me on. Also teaching me the appropriate response to her questions. Must have written this 4 years ago I think. Or more.
Earliest sports day invitations. Mom kept them!
A copy of some adapted story book version of the Old Testament we answered exams for a year or two on.
Copy of an Orkut testimonial written for a friend.
Because I am a hoarder, I have a lot of possessions. I had once started to try cataloguing them. Remnants of that failed attempt are still stored in my cupboard. Some of these are papers full of song lyrics and I remember some idiotic boys making fun of my writing such songs on the back of my notebooks.
Two newspaper cutouts from when I was famoussss. Lol jk. Neved famous. Just a result thing and some competition thing.
Class 12 Pre boards answer scripts. Idk why.
Scrapbook from class 2. The first page says - Special thanks to Keshavi Velani (mom). Yes. Believe it.
Class 7 lesson plan. Ummm, my class teacher used to ask me to write down the lesson plan in fair for her because of good handwriting. Again, don't know why I never returned it and just stole it and won't throw it now.
Such a cuteass card for dad. I mean.. It makes a lot of sense. Many other cards. :))
Oh and this certificate thing - there was a Macmillan assessment. Some random exam you had to give and I had scored the highest in Jharkhand in English when I was in Class 7. Now this certificate is very imoortant! I remember sitting on the floor during assembly feeling slightly annoyed; thinking how there was no point to these announcements because the same stupid people win all the time and the rest of us just keep clapping for the same old people. And then I heard my name and I was like whaaaaat. Yaa! Things!
That's about it I guess. There were a lot of Shah Rukh faces staring at me from the Meenal pile. O.O

And now I will go read a few pages of the illustrated Science dictionary I found among other Meenal stuff :D

All the while ignoring the fact that I actually couldn't stuff everything back. There is a lot of stuff outside. And no space inside. And that's fine. I will distract myself with the Snakes and Ladders and Ludo and Trade game set that's outside.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Random Update #6386372

I hate weekends!!
Weekends mean having uncomfortable conversations with yourself.. full of uncertainty and worry!
If only I could figure out where I am going wrong..
Making life decisions is so not my thing!
Today is Happy Friendship Day though! :D
And I am pretty much phoneless.. mostly even Internet less.
I also saw what happens when you let yourself slip into a comfort zone for way too long.. it's weird people could do that to themselves. It's like they are just being happy.. relieved a little bit on making it a little far and then before you know it you wonder what you did with all that time.
Seeing other people make mistakes in real time has made things harder actually. The way I see it now is that no matter what you do land in a pickle eventually. :P
And then again how life is a big process of coming out of that situation. I don't know.
I did sit on that huge amazing big roller coaster Nitro alone :D
I am awesome that way.
Also.. have to try my hand at something productive. Please help out with ideas here! It does seem like worth a shot. It's true what Meenal did tell me.. about trying other stuff to actually know other stuff. It's like a challenge she set me.. make something which could be commercially viable.
Need to exercise my brain.
Maybe it's a good weekend exercise? Going back to basics and cross checking whether all you've known and thought is still true?

Also finished Kafka on the Shore! Bits of it flew past my head and it was like nothing I have ever read. ... but it was pleasant. Some of it was really good and soothing really. The pace is soothing. And my favourite would have to be Nakata. Yay. :D

Anyway. Rhea, if you're there, congratulations! :D
I heard you joined Greenpeace. So happy for youuuu. :D
I don't have my phone anymore and you're not on Facebook. :P

Let's do this. All ideas welcome. :P
Kbye. :)