Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Sucky Internet + Typing in the Heat + Just spied a lizard hiding very sneakily.

So I am waiting here for my song to get downloaded but it won't because sucky internet.
The lizard just came out but I still can't see it clearly. Its like those nude shots in movies where you can't really see the whole body because of strategically placed objects - in this case, the lizard is choosing to reveal just its tail to me. Hah.

As for the heat! The sockets in the AC room where I am supposed to sleep are burning the charging pins of my charger. They've become all black and so I had to shift to the non-AC dining room and I am supposed to be studying for a bit, maybe?

Umm, I don't know why I am writing why I am about to write but I guess its for the good. Maybe?
Let's start with day before. So, there was this party and I didn't say a hi back (but it was only because I was unsure whether the wave was for me or not). And then there was the whole party with people I didn't know well and so I didn't speak at all for the evening. Normal people would let go of these things because those guys aren't people I chill with everyday, anyway. But all of this didn't leave my mind. Yes, I didn't think about the drive after which was wonderful or anything else that was good but about every smile, every judgement, and of course that hi. Very unnecessarily, I know.

That was yesterday. Today was a whole new story. It was like I wanted to say a lot - like I was up to the brim with things but there was no exit. Like accumulated stuff but things you don't say to everyone. It is a very uncomfortable sort of feeling. All trapped things. It kind of made me want to vomit (oh, this could have been the food :P). But ya. Like a good breaking of things or a good shouting or something would make it okay. I just wanted to talk, you know, but if I would talk, nothing would seem okay to talk about. It is a weird in-between but I tried anyway. But.. just anyway, sometimes its not worth bothering anyone. How do you even start a conversation with - Hey I want to talk but not really talk. Doesn't make sense. Plus I do get the fact that people have work stuff and their own lives to deal with..

I honestly don't know what I want. Maybe its a side-effect of too much vacation. Maybe I am not supposed to pay attention to all this crap. Maybe I am making it seem like it is more than it is. Maybe that's why I start making meaningless conversation!

Who knows? :D
Oh this exercise is probably a waste of everyone's time but just wanted to let you know. Idkkkkkk. It will come and go like all things do.
Ohhho bye.

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