Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Thoughts of My 13 Year Old Self

Found some thing I must have written back around sometime in 2009. That's like 7 years ago. Things my 13 year old was worried about. :P

Just another morning I woke up with this dream
I was working by a sill
I had worn a three piece Armani business suit and oh! it must have looked gorgeous I'm sure.
But somehow I seemed stress.
Or I must have had a headache or something
'Cuz I sat there holding my head.
It must be a usual thing for my alter ego I just said (in my sleep).
The window had not been opened
As the air-conditioner was full on.
It was very cold in there
But I had no time to shiver
You see I was working real hard.
As a child, I would have simply said.
'Open the window someone. Let me get distracted in a so dull office.
Give me a chance to see the birds and bees; the flowers and the trees.'
And I would have just whiled away my time there.
Until guilt would consume me and I would get up.
But I had grown-up, you see?
Money had become THE inspiration for me,
My work was to see the problems and solve them using my brains.
Wisely and smoothly I had sailed through every problem.
This sure had worked it's magic on the management and staff.
Because I just kept progressing - high and above.
How many accolades had I won I really don't remember.
[All this had happened overnight in my dream!]
What I had forgotten was that in exchange
I had traded my life of childishness, my land of happiness.
In which I used ti blow bubbles with glee.
Where even seeing a balloon gave me a childish thrill.
Where I could be stupid but still loved
Where I noticed the blue skies with the tiny black specks of birds.
And when my terrace was my idea of heaven.
Along with my school and home.
But now I needed a seven star hotel to satisfy me.
I had loads of money - oh sure!
Where to spend I did not know.
Then came a letter which would make my life take a U-turn.
It just called me to school for a reunion.
To meet my friends from whom I had not heard from since years.
Oh And oh! Just seeing my school gave me the joy I'd not experienced since years.
Oh my God! Did we have fun?
We talked about our molding days
That made us what we are today.
The values that we had shared - poor and rich, from when we were young.
We all then went back home after a week or so.
But after seeing this fun, I just couldn't move on.
I took out the dusty trunk that held all my precious things - my collected shells and other memories.
Like that card that I'd got, the card I'd made but never sent.
Or the stone I had picked up from the day when I'd gone up to the terrace.
All the memories came rushing back
The tears and smiles I couldn't sweep back.
'This is the life' I said. 'Not competition in an unruly world instead.'
And then there was regret over the time spent.
How fast I had grown old.
Shouldering more and more responsibilities along the way.
I just looked at my bank balance.
It was enough to last me my lifetime
That's when I realized -
I had lost my reason for work.
It was as if I was on autopilot.
Then and there I decided I just had to quit my job
And enjoy my long-forgotten real life.
That was when my mummy woke me up on a Tuesday morning.
I just smiled and thought -
'I'm going to make her proud.
Just this wasn't the way how.'

Sounds like a.. movie. And it's full of mistakes, even the punctuations are wrong as this is an exact reproduction of the original. Embarrassing, but here it is!

PS - Finally made you read it ;)


  1. You knew about Alter-Ego at thirteen? :O :O

    I like learnt about it a year back :/

    1. Probably didn't know the word then. Just thinking about future thingiessss. :P