Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Growing Up

I have been hearing that phrase you're grown up now since before I really grew up. I expected myself to grow up, I could feel everyone expect me to grow up soon.

Lately, I have gathered a thing or two about growing up, It's a funny time this - all directions seem equally lost. So, here is what I think it is!

Outwardly, or rather most obviously, as I have learnt from observations it means asking questions, right questions and voicing your opinions. Not stupid, I have no idea yet want to butt in kinds but the making yourself heard, sensible ones.
It's when there remains no black or white, but just a whole lot of grey. You learn to stand on your two feet for yourself because well, no one else is going to. It's when you recognize your choices, begin to see your life as a combination of choices with lots of trade-offs and learn to accept responsibility for what you do, and where you end up being. It means finally seeing where you lack what you lack and what to do about it, to in the first place, decide to do something about it. It also means that in all this while, when you are learning and flexing in your skin, to learn to not be too hard on yourself. To see it for what it really is - a learning curve and possess the patience to let it take its course. It means to be kind and to love. It means not only giving, but choosing where to give yourself, to rather invest. It means conquering your fear and reaching out for what you are after. This reminds me of Harry whom I yesterday read had taken both his hands off his broom to catch the Snitch. It means knowing you will fail at some point, on some day but charging ahead anyway.

The word responsibility is a big one. But eventually you realize it means nothing more than doing what you ought to!

It also means fighting. Fighting a lot. I think, and I cannot be really sure, all of us have one overpowering flaw. Umm, hamartia, if you will. So, you fight and learn to tame your hamartia. Right now, at least, it means that to me. It means being willing to break out of the shadowy corners of your mind - to 'choose' a better life for yourself. It means looking long and hard for the song of  your heart and when you do find it, it means fighting doubly hard to keep it tuned. Right now, it gives me the image of a snake climbing out of its old skin; the importance of that whole molting process. So, to be ready to undergo it, to fit into a new, better skin. To take charge, to take control of your life, of your now, come out changed but yet the same. It seems very overwhelming today. But it genuinely is for the better.

If you are choose to be stubbornly optimistic in life - not because you don't believe bad things won't happen to you but because you know that you can fight it - I think you survive.

And if all of the above really means growing up then I am. Without even realizing it. 

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