Monday, February 22, 2016

The Perks of Being a Girl with Straightened Hair, News, Movies and Other Conflicting/Non-Conflicting Things.

I have wished to have an ambiguous title like this for so long! So fancy. Like I was writing a book on something.

For the first part - the perks of being a girl yada yada.
So, there I was in the train sitting and doing my business. This guy waits for my mom to get down at the Tatanagar station and then chats me up till the Howrah station. Takes out a Gujju connection. Offers me a ride till home; says he is going in the same direction. Now mind you they are already four people. A cab takes a maximum of four people. So I refuse twice, thrice. Then I just let it be hoping that someone in his family would see some sense and be like bro, sorry, we're housefull and you idiot boy stop promising rides to girls in trains, at least not when your family is around. Even that doesn't happen! Not even after I asked his whole family whether they were sure about it. The uncle says he would get off at a distance of just 5 minutes from the station so it won't be a bother to anyone. Then we go to the cab stand and even the police force volunteers didn't stop us. Which is weird. They NEVER allow five people and a police person is always there. My final exit plan was that the driver would ask us to pay extra as he was breaking rules and then I would be the good person and be like no, the bus is okay for me. Ya, you guessed it, the driver didn't ask for extra money! So there I was stuck so awkwardly between his two sisters who obviously didn't want tot talk that much and him next to the driver, all of us super quiet. Their house came before mine and they started pulling out their luggage and things. I breathed a sigh of relief and spread out my stuff on the taxi seat. But oh no, the story doesn't end there. He left his sisters at their doorstep and comes back inside!! That he would drop me till home. I told him he doesn't have to do that, he would have to come back all the way. He does it anyway. Now even though I got creeped out in the beginning, I just adopted an oh-well-whatever attitude about it. This wasn't particularly unsafe because he knows just the road to my house - you have to turn into smaller bylanes to reach my exact residence. In fact, I know his exact address which means I can send the police there in case something happens. Plus, I have had no contact with that day except when I bumped into him at the mall. And his sister as well (on some other day but ya, this might happen a lot what with our areas being close by).
I have travelled in trains a lot and this has never happened to me before. The only thing that changed was my hair and nails. In short, if you look a little bit groomed, you get dropped home for free. Meh. :P

Its been so disheartening to read the newspapers lately. All they consist of are fights, wars, rapes and murders. No, literally. There have been times when I have given up on newspapers because I just couldn't take the negativity floating around anymore. It was the day they'd reported about a doctor whose kidneys had failed and was on dialysis because a bunch of people just beat him up as a person had died under his care. It was apparently not even the doctors fault. He had asked the patient to take some tests which the patient had ignored to take.
There is this whole JNU controversy and the Jats wanting reservation thingy. I read up on the JNU thing because at first I couldn't understand what was happening. Now, I won't put up my views here because I do not even want to talk about who is right or who is wrong. Plus, I have heard people being branded as traitors for weirder reasons (which I can't talk about here).
I want to talk about hate. No matter how much you disagree with the other person, how can you hate him enough to physically hurt him that much? In this JNU thing, the student body leader was beaten up twice in the court premises. An opposition party worker was beat up by an MLA. It has made me think that we are just animals inside actually putting on the garb of decency. When given an appropriate time, some leverage and power, we will not hesitate leading even mobs to kill people. Sorry, but I think that such viciousness is not a result of disagreement, its more like a lack of humanity.
Even their words are no less bitter. [Case in point -]
Just finished with a newspaper that quoted some protester saying that they wanted to burn that young student body leader just like his Hindu group had burnt alive an Australian *missionary* and his two sons in the past!! How can you want to say such things? How can you then proceed to execute such threats for the lamest of reasons? Like.. let me kill him because he *might* be eating something I don't like or let me kill him because he doesn't subscribe to my faith. How!?
Like how my friend said why is brute strength so appealing so us?
Somewhere, I think people forget that others are humans too. That they are spreading hate and pain . They must be getting some kind of pleasure out of it because such brutal acts seem impossible to commit. That's someone's life you are taking - his family, his dreams, his hopes - all gone with the pull of the trigger. We have forgotten what a life means.

I saw the movie Neerja yesterday. And its so good! I don't have that kind of bravery at all. I think we need more movies like this. Specially the fact that it has a female heroine. I imagine young girls specially getting so inspired by it. To clarify, all children will get inspired but lately, I have seen so many item songs with women doing nothing but looking pretty or serials with women in traditional gender biased roles (maybe it has always been there and it is me who started noticing it now or has it become more explicit, I don't know), I think this has become a little bit necessary. Media is something we are exposed to everyday and its high time it does more to expand our horizons. I myself was a little bit surprised when I saw 'A Man's World' series on YouTube. I knew what I was getting into - it is a web series about a man who complains about how easy the women have it and then some magic happens and yes, he still is a man, but in a world that is matriarchal. I was surprised about the scene when he is shown commuting for the first time after this reversal. The roads were full of women. Bus commuters, auto drivers, lorry drivers, pedestrians, roadside stall vendors, everyone. That made me realize how used to I am to seeing men in such roles that any other way hadn't occurred to me at all. I started wondering why I had never seen women puchka sellers around. Its food and even traditionally, that has been a woman's job. I guess it probably has to do with lugging around the puchka carts. Or taking care of the family at home. Either way, I don't know. There should be more of us around though. Haha.
Even Airlift was good. Both of these were based on real life incidents.
In continuation to my news subhead content, both of them showed in a way how men have actually become a little bit immune to killing (it is all around us, its true. :/). A gun in hand and bam and bam. [Fun Fact : According to Jainism, when you're seeing a movie and you then root for the hero to kill the villain, you get 'paap on your head'. Hehe. :D]
But though seriously. Airlift was about Saddam Hussein taking over Kuwait, for basically.. money!? So ya. Their reality changed overnight. Fine they did live in labour camps and all but imagine how scary it is that you're sleeping one night and the next you have no control, no ownership rights, no nothing. Your neighbouring country deciding to bring in some tanks and guns and cannons and everything you've ever. ever known is in danger of ruination. To think it has happened to so many people!!

Other Things
In a conversation with my brother yesterday, he remarked how I was growing up and how he was used to the tiny me. And it saddened me somewhere. It made me want to go back for a second to when I was so protected and sheltered and when I sat and complained about my very-very-important-lol-not-really issues to him. I do still complain sometimes but how the nature of complaints have changed. How time alters the way we behave. Wanted to go back to tiny Khushi again. *sigh*

Finally did get the hang of the meaning of 'Wildest Dreams' song. Thanks to Shristi for sowing the seeds in my mind. I do not know how to explain but I am getting a little bit better at guessing why people feel the way they do. A teensy bit. Will it help control my impatience with such things and cultivate a little bit of indifference so that I don't react? Let's see.
2% mush might have gotten into me from everywhere else. Since I am not allowed to say undignified things, I started reading Divergent fanfiction and well, the story I had picked was so bad and disappointing. Tch tch.

And just imagine, bhaiya ironed my clothes for me. I also have a really bad coughing fit thing going on. All these guys make sure I have haldi milk, haldi water (twice a day) and cough syrup three times a day. Cuteness! :)

I am also a participant in a chain email thing to send nice passages/poems/quotes anything. Basically, it is about spreading good vibes. Even to strangers. I can even see my mom getting a little bit uplifted by reading nice things. She is quite sick right now. :(
All in all, it is a good exercise. If I get the time, and also replies, I want to post some here. Let's see. :)

There is some drama going on in Delhi as well. My prayers with my family. :)

Also, my exams are coming up. Yes, should study. No, I am not.
But all of this was so good to get off my chest! Cheers. :D


  1. I am that Friend. Yay Yay.
    Also, take care of aunty :(

    And yes, I guess even we feminists are way to used to this patriarchal society. (See the Ariel ShareTheLoad ad. You will understand what I mean )

  2. Yes, it is true!!

    And mom is better now. Thanks. :D