Friday, September 18, 2015

Positive Vibes!?

So, dad has been pretty sick lately. The day before he had even be declared critical. Turns out the doctors weren't that familiar with the case and so, the prognosis wasn't entirely accurate. It was a day after mom's birthday. She didn't tell that to me or my sister. I don't know what kind of courage she has. Scary times.

I think of the finality of it all. More often that I would like, my mind wanders down a path I don't like. I imagine sad things. Distressing things. Situations. White. Future. I fear its attributing to papa's ill health in a twisted giving-out-bad-vibes way.

So, I decided to let my mind still wander but in a positive way, a happier way. Those will be the positive vibes that I will send out.

I imagine his digestive tract. The bacterial infection in his tract is all red and that's why it burns. I imagine cool, cleansing light blue, very light blue, the colour of ice cubes in science books. That colour washes through him, giving so much relief in that tract. The bacteria's die. I don't know. All I see is that everything becomes blue as it passes through his system and cools down the burning. Like a balm. All is normal again. He can eat and get his strength back.

He won't be a sad story; problematic health leading to the end. I see him as a miracle story teller. He will get old soon, and then like old people often do, I see him telling people how he braved what he is going through.

I see him kiss me on the cheek a million times. He would remember that he couldn't do it today because of that stupid mask, and he will treasure it even more.

I see him come back a softer man, a more patient man. He won't get angry much. He will be the boss again, as people who know him call him. He will be kinder towards the sick. He won't refuse to give alms anymore and we'll have to stop him.

I see him eating messily still. Mom and dad will be pretty old and mom will start to roll up his sleeves before he dines. He will always itch to eat what he shouldn't. Only that he might be a little scared to eat those things on the sly now.

I see him talking about the stock markets and blah blah. Maybe he will try to teach me a thing or two about what he is doing. He will be guiding us again, with his opinions. Worrying about us. Our careers. Oh, and most importantly, worrying about 'the competition' in today's world.

I wonder if our world will be the same when my kids group up. Would dad still be scared to pick babies up? Mom will be the strict, disciplinarian granny and dad the indulgent one. Wonder if he will still repeat the words 'consistency' and 'competition' as much. He would teach them cricket though, won't he? And silently disapprove as I teach my kids not to believe in Paryushan.

We will have family get-togethers. Dad will play his songs and mom and dad will sing along while we get bored to death. We won't be the sad family, we will be the family that ticks. Dad will be so much more loving you know? Because of all this. Maybe our house will finally be made.

Every situation can be turned. Right now, every story has a good end. Give the good ends a fighting chance dad. Give it. My positive vibrations to you. Stronger than always. :)

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