Thursday, September 10, 2015


Listening to The Escapist. Such a powerful beautiful line -

And in the end we lie awake
And we dream of making our escape


You know how some things are? Just so beautiful in their simplicity. In their normalcy. Suddenly these things are not normal anymore. So you hold on even closer. All it is is sand slipping from between your fingers. The tighter you hold on the more you're really letting it go. Ever seen A Lot Like Love? "Don't. You'll ruin it." Maybe these are the hardest of all moments. When there is so much to explain to show to justify but you withhold it all because it will actually ruin it. You got to know when the sentence ends. Where to put a full stop.

Am again so tired today. Should have probably gone to sleep. But I refuse to
sleep. I am mentally exhausted too. Trying/Learning to be calm and patient through the topsy-turviness. Half the battle is holding on and going on with it. Just not giving up. Deep breaths are the most brilliant things. Physically too my body is all tensed up. Since all of us have been keeping up late at nights these guys just left my room so I could sleep because I was so tired and sleep deprived that I looked drunk.

Just switched off my phone. Nearly two hours ago. Keeping it so until I wake up tomorrow morning. I feel tempted to switch it on again but I just need the time-out. Time outs. :)

Wondered what to write about right now. Saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall and not a nice movie. Light but chuckled just about twice. My nosey is stuck in my nose. Like how I can make it all about myself here and not feel bad about it. Coldplay = comfort. Always.

This reminds me whoever reads this has to go watch Wake Me Up by Avicii at least once on YouTube. Its on number 30 on the most watched video list which is not so bad in itself except for the fact that Gangnam Style is number 1. Like why?

Call it magic. Call it true.

I don't want to sleep.

Umm what did I learn today? The Psychology Department of my college is so cool. The students have their own research which is outside of their syllabus. A friend I talked to said their paper was going to be on Multiple Personality Disorder on Children of Single Parents. I wanted to ask why they had such an objective but it came out wrong. Then I didn't want to be too intrusive either.

Then I also learnt that there have been recommendations to remove the Act which criminalizes suicide from the Constitution. I do not know however if that is a good thing or bad. In a way its good because if people like back out from suicide they won't fear getting arrested.

Tell me your secrets. Ask me your questions. :)

All subjects are pretty cool. And you do need a little bit of knowledge from all the fields to lead a meaningful life. Nor does it guarantee meaning nor is it a sufficient condition for it but working knowledge is a must. Literature gives depth and if you learn to analyze literature you are in fact learning about human nature. Economics is also necessary at a basic level. Psychology just seems interesting. Basic Maths is necessary too. If nothing then to sharpen your brain. History is how you plan your future. Science is wonderful - we are little without the 3 sciences. Basically it all boils down to the way subjects are taught. The main objective of teaching anything should be clearing the concepts and then on letting the student analyze it of his own. We do have it here but it comes in pretty late - at college level. And even then the ones who can learn up things do have an advantage with the existence of the marking system. At my age I believe there are few people who are fueled by the drive to learn. Learning does not excite. Whatever they learn now is just a stepping stone to where they want to go in the future. I hope I have put this point across clearly enough. And me? Well I have to be honest. I have rarely had cause to put my brains to something since pretty much my first year. The only time when I actually think I am being productive is when I am writing and collecting my thoughts. Cannot really blame the institutions and their ways as I have a firm stand on this - Where there is a will there is a way. Could have read up things on my own. Could have at least grasped my syllabus concepts well. I regret it but I think I couldn't have forced myself into it. It seems I have fallen out of the habit of paying attention in classes but nothing catches my attention long enough. Nothing in my syllabus. Tell me something about what you are learning and you will have a very excited student before you who will even reference on what you say. I am a little scared and even sad that I did this to Economics. From loving it so much that I knew I wouldn't study anything else to this. I am still not clear on what changed - maybe the way it was taught maybe the college hours maybe my own lack of initiative I don't know. It pricks me! As for the other subjects the field does always look greener on the other side. I regret missing out on everything I am not studying. Every single thing.

Now I can go sleep maybe. Exhausted myself enough mentally with all this chatter! :D

Something I read today - To be something you've never been before you have to do something which you have never been before.

*Woah its 10 to 3 already! :O*

Wait. Forgot to complain about the food /today. Now today is special because tonight's vegetable tasted like vomit. Not even exaggerating. The salty vomit taste? /That /was our /vegetable /today.

Okay /I /b/etter /go /n/ow./ /Keyboard malfunction/g /as /might /b/e /ob/vious /from /the /n/umber /of ////////////////////////////////////////////////////. Fighting/ /to /make /it stop. /Plus /n/o commas. /:(

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