I

I am not friendly
I am not fancy
I am not talented
I am not studious
I am gliding through life
I am an occasional liar hoping to get caught
I am the gladness of being asked after
I am the contempt I have
I am the uninterest in the opportunities
I am the voice that can't speak
I am the slackness
I am the ignorance I possess
I am the morbid and dirty thoughts I think
I am the selfishness
I am the unnecessary talk
I am what I heard, never experienced or felt
I am the opportunities I missed and the initiatives I never took
I am all the books I didn't read
I am all the people I consistently need
I am all the comparisons, jealousies and insecurities
I am the loathe that hates my self-loathing
I am the thinking that continues that way
I am everything that's wrong.

Hoping for a day when this feels right to me.