Abhi tak toh sahhee chal raha tha

It was good until now, you know how things are when there is the build-up of familiarity but alas there always comes a time when someone opens their mouth. Then you're like oops.

That day has finally come. My friend has gone and done chutiya work. I still am unable to say or type chutiya normally. I wanted to say it though. Now, I'm like kyu. I know what I have to do but this 'good phase' lasted more or less non-problematically in comparison to other conversations I've had. Yes, including the V that came after all those As. I could feel his judginess after a point, it really shone through. I think it really helps to be unable to see someone though. Life is much easier because it's all the more cues you can miss!

Although, I think being assertive could be a new, good look on me. Trying to not laugh it off, or be dismissive or downplay it. Let it be a serious one. Even the fact that I knew what I wanted to do this time. I did ask for advice but I knew even before I did. I think I wanted to share, though. It's almost a month now and I've never kept anything to myself for this long. Good practice of understanding my shallowness, or general workings of mind, what I like and dislike and SO PROUD of me for understanding what exactly set me off. I always second-guessed that I would not be the person I would have liked to be or something. You know, I keep hearing "it's like the rules of feminism or something" in my head full time. 

Chalo chhodo, aur kya.