How is adulthood supposed to feel in your skin?

 I can't sleep. My head is buzzing with all that remains to be done. It was easier for me to deal with this when I had lesser responsibilities because planning was easier. This buzz got over in a day or two as soon as the event causing sleeplessness happened.

Now, I'm really getting into things and I feel like  have just two modes - productive, energetic and wanting to fill in every second of the day with something to do and sloth. I don't feel comfortable in either of these perhaps because when I'm working hard in worried about enjoying and well progress doesn't happen in sloth.

I can't quite shake off this feeling and this repetitive rattling of things that ought to be done and things I'm failing at or not giving enough attention to. It doesn't feel right. Because even if I do end up making time for me, I won't have fun. It will be... Scheduled? I don't know what to make of it honestly. Please joy don't be sucked out!

Maybe this is just a phase and we'll be good soooooon 🍉

I need my mindfulness backkkk!

* Trying my deeeeep breaths *

I shut this tab, opened twitter and came back to say I liked this tweet from an hour ago which said how many of you are up haunted by a deadline? (Meena Kandswamy). Da feels.