Post Moving Pains

2 weeks after moving.

Currently, recovering from sickness (been 5-6 days already!) and honestly? Just badly badly BADLY missing home. The crying and crying on bed missing home. The feeling lost and want to hug mumma missing home. I don't know what to do with myself, I feel. Like on autopilot something tells me to feed myself and I do that. I don't like anything, not really. Losing it is bad because there is no way out. No reason seems good enough. Nothing is worth it. And there are (a minimum of) 12 long months to go. My heart is sinking. But there's chores. There's a bike to pick up and a jacket to buy. There's food to be cooked. Nothing seems to stop for a minute. I want to emotionally catch up and be able to enjoy things but time won't stop. I have to get on the bus and get with things but I absolutely cannot. Its like when I was a kid and it was rainy and dark out and I was cold and it felt weird but the world continued to function normally. I didn't know what to do then either. 

Logic tells me it'll be fine. All bad emotions (also good actually) will cycle. Have to stick these through. Some more time. A few more days. A few more hours. Till I can feel something else. Can't stop taking care of myself how much ever I don't want to. Sad cheers. Bye.