Sunday, January 18, 2015

Never Been Kissed.

Okay, so, as the title suggests, I have never been kissed or even dated anyone to want to kiss you. So this whole thing is written from an outsiders point of view. With a scientific temper. Now, I interviewed a total of 9 people on this matter - including long time relationships, just broken up relationships, single people and long distance people. But it did not make any difference as none of these people were ready to discuss anything in detail [and that is why ladies and gentlemen, you will never be able to read about making out. I don't expect even one to own up]. Also, one of the people I asked had never kissed, so she was as good as me. I get it that I was crossing a line or something, intruding other people's space but I don't understand the need to be hush about it. But its okay, it can be awkward. Its about mouths, moving, on each other, saliva. I mean for me its okay (I realized today) that it is kind of a big deal because this is a whole new area I never paid attention to before. You know? Occurred to me as a kind of a boundary line. The age where children hit puberty and are flooded with questions? It was something like that for me yesterday.
It all started with a friend transferring her cold through a kiss. I was truly wonderfully amazed and a little bit ticklish. And then I wondered about people kissing with colds, then wandered over to people kissing at all and then, suddenly the doubt Aamir Khan had in 3 Idiots (whether the nose interrupts the kissing process) didn't seem so stupid. I mean there are so many questions!
People won't want to talk about kissing at all but all do remember the first time they kissed. Its like a baseline. And here are some of the questions and answers I got. Also, if I get branded a sex offender when I start to find things out by other methods, just remember it will all be the fault of these people who just wouldn't talk or share what they knew.

Special Note - The first kiss is really important. Like you have expectations or something (I don't exactly know), remember it well, it could be a thing of regret if not done with the right person. Hmm, maybe I would kind of agree.
Oh and also, people do sometimes try it when they are small and really don't know what kissing actually means.
And your first kiss is very highly likely not the person you are currently seeing. Like in a 3/8 chance you are still together.
Moving ahead.

When was your first kiss?
Hmm, well for some it was when in school to when they were in college. So, basically, it could be anytime. Like from when you are in school to somewhere between your second year of college. Nobody beyond that.
(And this surprised me a little because I always thought we were so tiny in school but I don't know why I think this is huge. But its is! I mean dancing mouths. But then, its louve. :D)

Where was the first kiss?
The answers I did get ranged from after tuition classes, to deserted roads when lost, to unexpected ones in the park, at home, on the terrace and in a club.
Just about anywhere. Ya.
(And I always thought it was difficult over here what with there being no places. Where there is a will, there is a way.)

How do you know when its time? Like in movies they have this 'the moment', that cliched one, where the boy and the girl just know. That isn't true for real life, is it?
Well, it turns out it is true for real life. It happens. You have those moments. And then its usually the guy who leans in.* just know.
*Its almost always the guy. If you have a cold and you kiss, it was the guy.

But wait! What if the girl doesn't want to kiss?
Well, its simple. You just have to back away when he leans in and be like "What, dude?" with the -_- face!

Now, you do decide to kiss. How do you know how to kiss? Little bit of pressure here.
Its  a natural thing apparently. Nobody has to teach it to you. Its instinctive. Its like "animals and sex". Nobody has to teach them. (Let us leave my questions about it to some distant day..)

What are the rules? Soft, hard, crushing, tongue, no tongue?
Also, nobody answers this. And there are no fixed rules. Its a kiss. You could use your tongue, hands, legs anything you want. Nothing hard and fast.

How does it feel?
No answer. Unanswered.
Oh except for a general - Its the best feeling in the world. After hugs. :)

I could not research this stuff well. Lack of subjects. So many inhibitions. But it still helped to figure it out.
As people will realize, I am still a little apprehensive and still have some unanswered questions. It is kind of weird if you think about it. A miniature version of going inside someone (nothing dirty man - I mean its two different mouths of two different people, that way). And all that saliva. Its too close for comfort.
Also, how does it feel? Where do the hands go? (Oh, figured this part out). What if you are awkward about it? And, I just thought of this - What if you don't like the taste? Does it spoil everything? 
And it was must be so scary to kiss someone with a lot of experience when you yourself have none. There must also be so much over-thinking after a kiss. Right, wrong, good, bad. Phew.
I know it must be good. Because well. Its a beautiful expression really. So much trust and so much said (with your mouth, lol) without actually speaking. :)
Also, they look really awww in movies. :D

Strange, beautiful things I do not understand. :)
Meanwhile -
Someone and someone sitting on a tree  K-I-S-S-I-N-G.