The Meaning of Missing

I'm a Capricorn.

The moment I ended up empty from my happy memories, I dug up my past chats and tried and thought even more.

Just like I did in Class 3, I started crying because I couldn't remember and I really wanted to.

Then I cried harder because I wanted to think something happy but it was all sad.

I think I had some insight because I thought this hard.

The definition of missing people has changed for me, four (and a half years) on.

Missing someone is not just missing the good bits and memories and wanting them physically around.

It's broader.

Missing people is wondering what they would have said had they been here? Would they have approved?

Saving a space of what would have made them proud.

Missing someone is finding yourself behaving like them, holding the same values without even realizing it.

Missing someone is comparing yourself sometimes, trying to find similarities.

Missing someone is thinking, after all these years, that there was love in the everyday things.

When in that everyday, you were very busy being the center of your own universe.

And then weirdly missing that too.

Happy Birthday Papa :) <3