Why does learning to be a human have to be so hard?

I've realized that making Instagram reels saying forgive yourself and it's okay to make mistakes is easy. It's everywhere and I consume that content. A lot. It fills up spaces in my time I didn't know I had.

Living it is so much harder. How do you even learn to be without beating yourself up? My brain tears apart at that thought.

Unfortunately as part of my learning process I now also know that beating yourself up is also the easier thing to do, instead of trying to figure out what it is that didn't work or what it is that could make it work. There is also no guarantee it will work the next time. Everything is doing it publicly, failing publicly, learning publicly. 

It is humbling.

It is humiliating only if you let it be.

Or you learn to laugh at yourself.

I want to not learn for a bit and just be. 

I've struggled and picked up little in my life and it's hurting and I think now a part of me doesn't want to grow. I have enjoyed my time not actively thinking about the good stuff and I think it is because it is much harder to work towards something.

Okay, going back to what is required of me at this moment in time.

Thank you for the Ted Talk!