Matching Footsteps

You ever tried to doing that? Match your footsteps? You know, when you're on a beach and somebody who walked before left their prints on the wet, sticky sand. Or maybe on a freshly mopped floor, when someone soiled it by running quickly across and leaving their marks. Then you walk in and fit your foot right where the old one was.

You meticulously measure your footsteps with the previous path. Sometimes like a cliffhanger, you hang from the toe of your last step and realize you really don't see where next to put your foot down because the track is just not visible. It's probably an opportunity to make a new path. Rest of the times, you try to make it a perfect fit but you end up enmeshing the old and the new.

I think grief changes forms. And one of them is wondering. Of course, there are the 5 stages but I am not sure where this one fits. A lot of it is just asking questions but never actually knowing. You think you take the right steps and walk the right path. This wondering is trying to guess what your guide is thinking of yours. Sure, there are some answers that sometimes strike up from memories (your and others) and stories (mostly others) but they seem few and far in between. It's also wondering about all the stretches without them - those that have been wiped away permanently with the waves of time so you have a lesser idea of where they really came from and also those new flattened sands that are empty.

I don't think I'll ever know but it seems okay when I hope my best that you do. :)