Let Me Describe What Now's Like.

Here I am in this community hall filled with around 50 odd fasting men/women, another 15 committee members and a bunch of children serving these fasting people. They are also accompanied in their serving by adults but I guess it works better to have cute faced children serving. Where do I come in all this? My family kind of forced me to come along to serve. And no, I am not hiding behind my phone but there are just way too many people serving and I give up. Hmm, so I guess I am the mannerless anti social element in here. So much wow.
Oh God how weird these things are! Old people standing around. Rich women in their shiny leggings. Other kinds of rich women who are trying to find their place back in the society. Other women taking after their mother in laws. Like learning tbe ropes thing. All the prostrating and forced on warmth. Children/long lost relatives you used to see more of when you were younger and participated more in community things - they've gotten older and some of them have started looking way past their age. Happy and well mannered young children who do not hesiatate talking to people. Annoucemnts regarding the money gifts being announced for all the devotees. Gifts crossed a hundred per person today. Jubilation over that. All the while everyone is subject to the judgement of everyone else. I think I already made my case against me by not bowing down to the many, many people gathered here. Or maybe I did not when I did not acknowledge my neighbour. I don't know. But in comparison the active enthusiasm participation of everybody else.. Their mannerisms have always given me discomfort from when I was little.
Wow. I don't think I am ever going to have a society. They're not bad people, most of them.. They're just spotlight-y people. No society doesn't bother me much but its a skill - to socialize so smoothly like they do.
PS - Just had a conversation with a relative and I have no clue what he asked. I answered what I thought was suitable. I think it wascompletely completely unrelated. Ugh. Never will be a smooth talker if I have to keep asking people to repeat. :P
My semi deafness doesn't help! Mortifying things. :|